​I have relatives in different nations across the globe and not all of them have the same color of skin as me. Seeing how this pandemic has hit them keeps my eyes open that COVID-19 is NOT about any of the conspiracy theories running rampant in social media throughout the USA.
We also, as a family, have had different conversations about race and ethnicity over the years. I appreciate the recent thought from one of those relatives about white privilege, “In your/my world, we associate it with opportunities, wealth, success, the ability to achieve. But ‘white privilege’ means none of those things in the context of #blacklivesmatter. Really, it means that you get to not fear for your life because of the color of your skin. You can get caught speeding and not systematically worry that it might end in a bullet to the stomach. You can walk around your neighborhood in the dark, and not worry that someone will report you because of the color of your skin. You can reach into your pocket, and not worry that someone will scream “GUN” because of the color of your skin.”
Everything that is happening these days affects people that I love in my life – my family, my friends, and my coworkers. Therefore, it becomes my responsibility to be involved in removing the biases that are affecting them. My responsibility to become a blessing to them by examining my life and doing what I can do to show love and be a blessing. I need to use my strengths to give them strength.

It is the beginning of May. The last day that my place of business was open was Friday, March 13th. This morning I turned in my last assignment for the online course I've been taking the last two months. While at home, I've been practicing, participating in virtual ensembles, and preparing for workshops that I am leading later this summer. And I've been riding my bike and walking around the neighborhood so that I don't become permanently attached to my easy chair! But we've also been watching Netflix and Disney+ and spending a lot of time on Facebook and Zoom gatherings; reading books and playing Sudoku, etc.
But it's not the same as interacting with co-workers on a daily basis and planning rehearsals for my musical ensembles. Some days my brain just fells like slush and I get barely anything accomplished. Other days my brain goes on overdrive and tries to figure everything out.
This week our governor laid out some guidelines for 're-opening' the state. And it made me start wondering...
Will we continue to wear face masks when we go back to work? Could that be the real reason people started to wear face coverings? If you live a dessert area you would want to cover your mouth and nose so that you can breathe without inhaling sand. And if you are the one in charge of taking care of the children, the elderly, and the sick, again, you would want to have your face covered so that you don't get sick yourself and you don't spread germs. And since we know personal hygiene wasn't the same back then (I'm sure everyone didn't brush their teeth every morning), it would be a little nicer if there was a barrier between faces!
Same thing with gloves. You wore gloves to keep your hands clean when out and about. When you got home, you took off your gloves so that you didn't bring the grime of the outside world into your home. 
So many of the ancient 'laws' were really just guidelines about how to stay healthy, but people wouldn't listen, and so the guidelines became laws. That's why keeping a Kosher kitchen came about - keeping your food dishes separate to avoid cross contamination.
We talk about common sense - and how it doesn't always seem "common". People want to do what they want to do, in spite of common sense. Therefore, someone gets fed up with the lack of common sense, makes it a law and mandates that everyone does this thing. But people still just go ahead and do what they want to do. Sometimes they get arrested - sometimes laws get changed.
There are even laws about the Sabbath - basically a day of rest, respect, and reflection. A time to take a break and NOT work, but appreciate all that you have in your life. But since people don't like to be told what to do, they decided that observing the Sabbath was not a good idea and they could do what they want, whenever they want, with whatever they want.
And sometimes worldwide pandemics break out. And everybody blames everybody else. And more laws get passed that probably should just be guidelines.
But . . . 
Have you noticed that the earth is enjoying our enforced Sabbath? The air is cleaner. The water is cleaner. Because we have been forced to sit back and rest and reflect, we are allowing our bodies and minds and environments to heal. And maybe a day of 'slushy' thinking is just your brain letting go of all the unnecessary stuff that you've been clogging it with. 
I do want to get back to work and to interacting with my co-workers and friends. But I don't want to go back to my old normal.
I want to make a new normal where I go to work, but I remember to celebrate the Sabbath. I want to go out to eat again, but continue making homemade bread for my family. I want to take the time to enjoy this beautiful earth and my family and friends.
​I want to celebrate the blessings and leave behind the mess!

The world is a mess right now - but that doesn't mean that we can't continue to grow and learn and create. I'm thankful that composer Ricky Lombardo has contributed his creative genius to the world with this suite he has entitled "Quarantunes". As Ricky says in the description - "Home is the place to be while quarantined and hunkered down during the COVID-19 pandemic to stay safe."
Since I'm home with a lot of time on my hands, I have enjoyed learning these pieces and would like to share them with you. I took a few liberties. Instead of playing everything on the c flute, I did the middle movement on alto and the final movement on piccolo. (Hope you don't mind, Ricky.)

I think that's my biggest dilemma during these days of the Corona Virus quarantine - What should I do?
I can't go to work.
I shouldn't go visit other people. 
I can't participate in musical ensembles.
I severely dislike doing housework.
Taking walks is OK, but I always feel like I'm wasting time. I don't mind walking with a purpose - like shopping, or walking on the beach, or visiting one of the theme parks, but just going for a walk around the neighborhood just feels weird.
I want to help others, but I'm not sure what I can do or what I have to offer that will be useful or helpful.
Even though I'm still getting paid, I don't know how long that will continue, so I don't know that I have enough monetary resources to sustain my own family.
Without a daily schedule or an ending in sight, it can be difficult to stay motivated to keep up with anything. 
I have homework for an online class I've been taking this year, but it's really hard to stay focused.
I've participated in a few virtual recordings. That has been fun, but it's kind of weird to do your own little part all by yourself. But how many takes do you do before sending it in? Is there such a thing as a perfect run-through? We are depending a lot on the technical expertise of others to put it all together. 
I'm ready to start back up to work!
I'm even willing to wear a face mask and gloves in order to do so. Rather than all of us becoming a drain on the system, I think most of us would rather be working and being productive members of society. 
I obviously don't have the answers. But I do have lots of questions. 
And lots of prayers. There is always time for prayer. During times of rejoicing or times of sorrow or celebrations or confusion. Staying in communication with my loving savior will help me. And for that, I will keep going.

Well, things are a mess out there! 
But, I'm in here - and I have a mess of blessings!
A few weeks ago, during a private music lesson, my student and I were discussing how to deal with life when everything is a mess. She had a hard time believing me when I told her that no matter what was happening she still had control over some things - like her reactions. No matter what is happening on the outside, YOU are the only one with control over how YOU react to what is happening. You can not always control what is happening. But you don't have to give over control of how you react.
And in this time of a global pandemic, I can not control many aspects of my life right now.
But I can control how I react.
I can choose to give up or become anxious or angry. But none of those choices will help me at this time.
So I choose to focus on the blessings that I have.
And I have so many blessings!
There is an old gospel hymn, "Count Your Blessings". The words to this hymn have sustained me many times over the years when despair has threatened to overtake me. Johnson Oatman, Jr., wrote the words over 100 years ago, and they still ring true today.
1st verse: When upon life's billows you are tempest-tossed,
When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost.
Count your many blessings; name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord has done.
Chorus: Count your blessings;
Name them one by one.
Count your blessings;
See what God hath done.
2nd verse: Are you ever burdened with a load of care?
Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear?
Count your many blessings; every doubt will fly.
And you will be singing as the days go by.
3rd verse: When you look at others with their lands and gold,
Think that Christ has promised you his wealth untold.
Count your many blessings; money cannot buy
Your reward in heaven nor your home on high.
4th verse: So amid the conflict, whether great or small,
Do not be discouraged; God is over all.
Count your many blessings; angels will attend,
Help and comfort give you to your journey's end.

So, in no particular order, here are some of my blessings that I count today:

• I have a loving family
• I have a safe home with a comfortable bed
• I work with the motto, "Be Prepared", so my pantry stays stocked for times like these
• Music is ALWAYS available - I have my flutes, a piano, a ukelele, a guitar, a digiridoo, various rhythm instruments, and my voice
• My husband is capable of taking care of many of the repairs on our home
• The 3 of us living in this home at this time know how to get along with each other and enjoy being together
• Modern technology has given us many outlets to be together - even when we are apart
• I have a loving Savior and there is no power greater in all the earth

​

It's messy outside. Not horrible - just icky. Cloudy, drizzly, overcast, chilly - icky.
A good day to stay home in bed.
​But today is also my mother-in-love's 85th birthday. She lives a little over an hour away, so we're taking her out to lunch. NOT celebrating her birthday is NOT an option. Not everyone gets to celebrate 85 years of life. And she about didn't get to celebrate it because of major health concerns at the end of last year. 
But she's still here on earth and a little messy weather isn't going to stop us from celebrating!
Don't let the mess and 'ickiness' of your life keep you from celebrating either!

Boy has this week been full!
But I did it! Whew!
Sunday and Monday I had to be out of town (unexpectedly) and had to relinquish all responsibilities previously scheduled. Called in favors from another director to direct my bell choir at church in the morning and rescheduled rehearsals. Whew!
Tuesday I wanted to recuperate from the weekend, but I had to lead a class for new hires at work. So, I had to be "ON" for 8 hours PLUS I was being shadowed by another person who will be leading a similar class in the future. Nothing like talking for 8 hours straight! Whew! 
Wednesday and Thursday were 'regular' days at work, except that I needed to make up everything that I didn't do Monday or Tuesday. AND I was going to be at a Flute Convention Friday, so I needed to make sure that I pre-prepped everything that I could for missing another day in the office this week. Squishing a 5-day work week into 2 days. Whew! 
Friday, Saturday, and Sunday were full with flutes! The Florida Flute Convention was taking place and I was assisting at one of the Exhibitor Booths and performing in one of the weekend concerts. Lots of wonderful music, reconnecting with flutist friends from other areas, late nights, piccolos, contra-bass flutes, making new friends, setting up & taking down the booth, selling flutes, accessories, and LeFreques, and not much sleeping! Whew!
PLUS  . . . 
I'm taking 2 online courses that have reading and homework and tests and projects. This evening I had 2 papers due in one class and a project and a test due in the other. I honestly didn't think I was going to make it this week. But I just finished getting everything uploaded and submitted!!! WHEW!!!!
Of course, the real kicker is that I had gone to the doctor's last week for a check and she wanted me to keep an eye on my blood pressure this week. Hmm.. Guess what... My blood pressure was running a little high this week! Can you imagine that?! I wonder why?!
Oh, wait . . . could it be everything I just listed above?!
Ah, well - what can you do? I'm looking forward to a slightly boring week this coming week. I still have work and rehearsals and responsibilities, but hopefully all the 'extra' stuff will ease off a little bit and let my blood pressure ease off a little bit as well.
Whew...